I gave up being late for Lent. Once upon a Wednesday, I was going to give up other things . . . easier things, and then God told me I was a coward.
I was re-reading The Hidden Power of Kindness, that lovely 200 page examination of conscience, and was struck (hard) by a statement that not having the charity towards others ALWAYS to be dependable and punctual was a sign of weakness of character. Gosh, did I ever bristle! The little, whimpering voices in my head said, "But that's not talking about me! I'm on time more often than I'm late (51% counts as more often). I want to be on time. I have a 4 1/2 month old baby--God only knows (seriously) what could happen in the two minutes before we head out the door . . . "
And then I remembered another Lent, several years ago. I had asked my roommate for a Lenten sacrifice suggestion. She mentioned an idea and I instantly had a host of reasons why that was a bad idea. She looked at me and said. Listen to how much you are trying to find excuses not to do that. Point taken. I adopted her idea for that Lent.
Here I was, objecting again to something that I was "not guilty" of in the realm of imperfection. I tried to picture myself adjusting everything in my pace of life so that I had plenty of room for the unexpected to happen. I needed to create the space in my life to be on time.
And thus, my Lenten journey began. I have only been late once (by two minutes), and I have experienced more peace in my relationships and commute. Most importantly, this discipline makes me prioritize my activities. Do I really need to check my e-mail right now? Do I really need to spend this much time on my make-up? Do I really need to prolong this shower? Do I really need to brew coffee to go with breakfast today?
Matthew Kelly is fond of saying that in order to say "no" to anything appealing, we must have a deeper thing to which we say "yes." My "yes!" this Lent is to peace, charity, and the important people in my life. With that on the table, it makes my trivial amusements and delays and laziness seem like a very little thing to say "no" to.
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I'm in awe. How do you do it? What with last-minute diaper changes, spit up on my blouse, and having to nurse a screaming baby, I don't think I was on time to a single thing in the first few months of our little one's life.
This is also a hard one for me because while I grew up in a family where "on time" meant "Five to ten minutes early", my husband grew up in a family where "on time" meant "at least a half hour after you said you'd be there." They actually consider it rude to arrive at the time listed on the invitation--even for a WEDDING. It has caused no small amount of strife in our marriage. Finally we just agreed that to my family's functions, we'd be on time, and to his, we'd be late.
Anyway, don't be too hard on yourself, and when the unexpected baby things come up and make you late, just swallow your pride and apologize. Everyone with kids has been there. God bless!
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