As much as I love my son, I can't help looking at him on his fussy days and saying, "Lovey, I will dance with you, play with you, walk with you, snuggle with you, sleep with you, feed you, change you . . . pretty much anything, but if you continue to be so sad without an apparent cause I'm going to end up crying with you." The transition from single life to marriage almost pales in comparison to the transition made when a woman becomes a mother. On the "poopy attitude" days, being an at-home mom can feel isolating, being someone's primary source of comfort and nutrition can be draining and not terribly flattering (gotta love not getting a shower until lunch time & having your favorite blouse embellished by dried milk spit-up), and talking about all the textures "we're" touching and the sounds of animals can make me crave some higher-level intellectual dialog. Most of all, I struggle with not feeling "productive." I have lists of chores, piles of homework, and personal pampering things that are perpetually on the back burner.
Perhaps Mary is revered as the first of Christ's disciples because she was the first to understand God's perspective of our lives--a perspective that was revealed to her through her motherhood. Mary seemed to be a simple pregnant girl who was probably only accepted by her fiance out of pity. Yet, the extreme dignity of her supernatural vocation, though hidden, was the reality that defined her life and true identity. This supernaturalization of the natural and simple is the icon Our Lord gave us to emulate.
From this perspective, the trials of my life become my greatest blessings.
*My temporary isolation at home during the day helps me to recognize the blessings of community and the loneliness of those who are not blessed with the friends and family that I have been given to assist me. Christ also reminds me of my total dependence on Him when I realize my own strength is insufficient for my daily tasks.
*When I look in the mirror and don't see a magazine-perfect face and outfit smiling back, the Spirit reminds me that I have been called to share in a deeper understanding of Christ's words, "This is my body, given up for you." The greatest moment of Christ's life and self-gift to us was far from an airbrushed magazine smile too.
*Though it may not impress an Oxford scholar, my simple conversation and interaction with my little one is providing the building blocks of language, the foundation for sensory development, and the fundamentals of moral perspective for him for the rest of his life. Few teachers in a school can have that intimate and profound of an influence on their students. If the God of the Universe spoke in parables so that we may learn, this high school teacher can manage to speak in a baby-babble and instructive monologue.
*As I re-center my world, I have to realize that the world's view of productivity is not what defines my life. The immediate needs of my husband and son are much higher on the priority list than swapping out my summer dresses for my sweaters and winter pants. My house isn't ready for an HGTV feature presentation to be filmed in it . . . so what?
To stretch a weak metaphor--the great thing about stinky diapers and attitudes is that they both can be changed. God grant me the grace to keep your perspective of my life. Help me to see the supernatural significance in the natural and sometimes frustrating elements of my daily life.
1 comment:
"Persistence can work just as well as perfectionism, without all the stress and guilt."
cool quotation I found
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