Household Heroism

Last weekend, a priest challenged me re-embrace my call to sainthood, the common vocation Catholics call the "universal call to holiness." But, he didn't call it that--he told me to be a daily hero in my home.

Sometimes I think it's easier to be a hero (or a saint) outside of the home, in the full view of all the people you want to impress. My mom always said, "You're not a saint until you're a saint at home." So true. So how is one a hero at home?

I must be a servant to those whom I love. In this I will be emulating Christ, who said the "last shall be first" and washed his disciples' travel-worn feet to seal this lesson in their hearts. Servant leadership is not just about doing what is necessary, but rather it requires the initiative to discover and fulfill both the necessary tasks as well as the hidden needs and desires of the people I am called to serve. A servant doesn't expect anyone to "owe" him anything or thank him for his work; he just does what he must and does it well.

I must sacrifice my comfort for the good of others--without complaining! (Not my specialty.) Moms are often the last to bed, last to eat, first to rise, first to respond to any domestic emergency, first to question the inner workings of the social dynamic in her home, and often the last to receive answers that satisfy her longing to understand those she loves. For years, I have watched my own mother waking at the crack of dawn to start her morning routine. No matter what else happened that day, I've always quietly admired her heroism for waking before the sun so that she is ready spiritually and physically for another day poured out in love for her family.

I must make sound and just judgments of the things I hear and see in order to develop my own mind, to help my husband decide a course of action for myself and my family, and to guide my children to truth. Mindlessly following parenting books doesn't cut it. My own beliefs and understanding of truth must be strong enough and consistent enough to help me make quick (and creative) decisions when the occasion arises. [Eg: Billy hits Mary, and suddenly, mom is the police, judge, jury, and doctor all at once. Who has time to ask "What would Dr. Dobson do?" Mom is lucky if she gets so far as praying for patience.]

Finally, I am called to have unflagging dedication to a worthy cause, namely, my family. My husband and new son must define the "theme" for each moment of my life. [See Alice vonHildebrand's By Love Refined: Letters to a Young Bride for a beautiful reflection on that concept!] My vocation defines my time and interests more than any cursory avocation. This is not to say that I am limited and somehow have to embody some vague, domestic, barefoot and pregnant culinary icon. This cause, my family, my vocation . . . this is what makes me most free. Perhaps, the person who gives of her time, abilities, and resources in one area may look as if she has said "no" to a host of other options. Really, she has said "yes" to something (or some persons in the case of a vocation to marriage & family) much more profound than a dilettante's brief romances with sundry people, concepts, and things. My vocation is my path to holiness. It is a life-long love story with all the adventure, trials, triumphs, and sense of accomplishment I could desire.

I am not asked, fortunately, to become this "hero" on my own or within a short span of time. I have One who is Perfect to guide me, and He has infinite patience with my infinitesimal daily progress. Heroism isn't a sprint to the finish line for most of us; it is an epic journey. I wish you each bon voyage and, as the Spanish so beautifully say, vaya con Dios!