Keepin' It All Together

You know how they say certain things in our lives just "fall through the cracks"?  I think I have some big cracks in my sidewalk of life.

I'm becoming the queen of half-done housework, grading, dinners (the rice will be done in a few minutes!), and prayers.  Somewhere, somehow, the clean laundry doesn't make it back in the wardrobe, the thank you letter doesn't find itself promptly stamped and in the mailbox, and only half the dishes get shiny and clean after a given meal.  THEN, I get 1 1/2 hours during one of James' naps (of which I am increasingly jealous) to make the world an ordered and livable place again.

I vacillate between guilt for the undone chores and survival-driven carelessness.  In prayer, I try to get a sense of that "narrow path" of virtue that I am called to tread upon.

An industrious and successful entrepreneur I had the pleasure of dining with the other day told me that difficulty increases your capacity for increased difficulties.  It is by bravely grappling with the unforeseen challenges in life that we gain the skills and emotional ability to handle the next obstacle with courage, if not with grace.

But, I often think there is a such thing as "too much."  I also think there is a time when that "too much" is also important, urgent, and unavoidable.  So, I can only buckle down, ask for divine and human help when necessary, accept my limitations, and keep trying.

I suppose one does not "master" being a wife and mother in one year's time.  All truly beautiful things take time, and a Proverbs 31 woman, a woman modeled after Our Lady, a woman who is comfortable being Martha when needed and Mary the rest of the time . . . she is, indeed, a beautiful gem of creation.

[I had written the above a week or so ago, and then . . . ]
I recently found a holy card tucked away in my Bible.  It used to be my marker when I decided I was going to read the whole book cover to cover (it took me 6 years, but it was worth it!), so I saw it often.  However, it had been fogotten for just long enough to resonate on a much deeper level this time.  It simply says:

In humility is found perfect freedom.

That's it.  That's my answer.  And now I will go get my (mid-day) shower and tackle a mountain, not expecting perfection of myself, just trying to be faithful to Him.