Honor Your Father . . .

A happy and blessed Father's Day to all of the dads out there!

I think few people truly appreciate the importance of the father's role in a family and in the development of his children.  Just look at all of the cards out there for this holiday.  They all have neckties, jokes about being dumb (thanks you sitcoms of America for that stereotype), half-hearted apologies for being a jerk, or pictures of grills, golf, and beer.  Maybe I've just been extraordinarily blessed to be around men who have deserved much more thanks than a creased piece of paper with "Thanks for bein' my old man" scrawled across the front.

Men who truly become servant leaders within their families and communities have an extraordinarily positive impact on the lives around them.  They uplift women beyond their insecurities to be beautiful and strong and capable of great self-sacrifice; a woman will do anything for a man she profoundly respects.  Good men challenge the other men and boys around them to guard that which is valuable, sacred, and fragile and to provide a good home, a safe community, and a culture of justice and integrity for others.

Three dads in my life have helped me to become the woman I am today.

I barely remember a time when my dad only worked one job.  Providing for his family has always been a top priority for him, and he would rather put in long hours at work and on the road than to see any of his daughters lack something they needed.  He made a point of picking out individual gifts for us for Christmas and sometimes cards for Valentine's Day.  His relationship with each daughter was different and important to him.  When I have come home on vacations from school, missionary activity, or life as a teacher/mother/wife, he invites me on a lunch date to catch up.  That investment in quality time, despite his busy schedule, was always precious to me.  He also taught me to follow my dreams and make time for passions that make me come alive, even if it doesn't always seem practical.  He is a gifted tenor and not only has made his passion into a side-business, but has also done benefit concerts for various organizations and Churches.  His daughters are not alone in looking up to him as a generous and good-hearted man.

As a married woman, I have been blessed with a new father-in-law.  Not every daughter-in-law truly feels that she is not just "my son's wife" but is also "my daughter" in the way my father-in-law has welcomed me into his family.  It's a good thing we get along, because he also happens to be my boss at work.  :)  Seeing him both at home and at work, I have deep respect for the integrity and humility with which he leads his daily life.  Family is always his top priority, but he also has a heart for serving the community, especially through character-forming education.  When he has difficult decisions to make, I often see him stop mid-stream, go to the chapel for 5 minutes of reflection, and then come back to the task at hand with a clearer perspective on the issue.  I can easily see where my husband has learned some of his many virtues.

Lastly, my husband is not only a loving spouse but also a dedicated father to our 8 month old son.  I remember reading books that advised tired mothers not to "dump" the baby on dad the second he comes home from work.  I've never had to worry about that--my husband sweeps James into the air and goofs off with him the minute he steps in the door.  Some people have joked that my husband "has to be Mr. Mom" on Mondays when he watches our son while I'm at work.  My response is that I love to see how his relationship with James is totally different from mine.  Rather than trying to replace or mirror me in his interactions with James, my husband is already forming him into a "guy" and a man through games, "man to man chats", and ways of bonding that would never even occur to me.  I could not imagine a boy whose father could possibly love him more.  Seeing the two of them play together (and seeing the way my husband pitches in when James is not so happy too) brings more joy to my life than I can express.

Make sure your dad knows today how much you value and respect him.  It's not easy to "love your wife as Christ loved the Church" and "train up a child in the way he should go so that when he is old he will not depart from it."  May God bless our fathers richly for the blessing they have been to each of us!  St. Joseph, pray for all fathers.